I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
