its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
