is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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