omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
