Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
