I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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