did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
