when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think my moral compass just broke
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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