shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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