i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
