Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
