I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
