i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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