im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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