You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
