Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
