DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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