It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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