dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize