Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
