Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you would pick up someone in the library
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
