I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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