She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
