I can tuck mytits in my pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize