True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
