I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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