I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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