I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
