those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
