they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
