why didn't you poke me back
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
