I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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