He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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