Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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