i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
