There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He has the fingertips of a God
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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