Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
