Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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