Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We got so high we made milksteak
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
