Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
