we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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