didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
