Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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