I hate all girls vehemently.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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