You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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