More tranny stories later!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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