did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
