We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
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There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"