All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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