Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
