We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
