Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
