don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
