Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
