I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
