I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize