im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize